Father: Let's not forget the word's richest meaning
By Bishop Woodie W. White
Father! Strange what has happened to such a noble word. In some circles, at least.
Father, one who creates life. Provider, caregiver, authority figure — these are some of the ways we think of father. Custom, tradition and sociology further define the role and character of fatherhood. Origins in Scripture, cocreator, a God gift!
Father, indispensable to the ongoingness of the human family. Essential as God planned. Important and significant in the scheme of life.
One of my favorite professors, a renowned author, scholar and theologian, ended all his prayers with the words, "Our Father." It was a clear expression of respect, endearment and reverence. I can still hear the rich base tones of his voice as he tenderly intoned, "Our Father." I would almost shiver with the awesomeness of the relationship.
But that was another time, when the term itself was held in honor and respect, not yet eliciting other images. The term itself is now under attack. Caricature, cruelty, even abuse are often now the images recalled when the term father is spoken. Not by all of course, but many.
Thus, to imagine or even refer to Deity, God, as Father brings much discomfort to so many. It is not just the anthropomorphic male gender attributed to God, but much more. Of course God has no gender, race or ethnic-limiting character. God is spirit, yet called and imaged by many names and concepts. But for some, it seems too limiting or even incongruous to think of God as Father.... Father, not always a good memory.
In the midst of such ambiguity comes the observance of Father's Day. Not quite the measure of Mother's Day, but still important. A time to remember, honor and pay respect to those who share the parenting role. Sometimes not given due honor. It is a good day. A time to say those special thanks, to give special attention to that other parent.
Father used to be known as "breadwinner." It was father as "gatherer," who left the home and engaged in activity (work) to provide sustenance for the family. Mother, the nurturer, remained at home, giving to children and place comfort, security and nurture. Not so today: Mothers increasingly are in the workplace, providing essential income for the sustenance of the family. Indeed, often doing "double duty," as both "gatherer" and "nurturer."
Time, circumstances and custom are changing the father role as well. For good and ill. It is vital that both parents share more fully in the parenting responsibility. Yet there is a unique role and responsibility for each. Even a calling!
Father, fatherhood and its God character must not be lost by current fad, or indeed the role and responsibility forfeited. Stereotype and caricature must not define the nature of the important God-given role. Unique as gender is unique. Hallowed as gift from God.
Father, for many, recalls good and precious memories. For others not so; merely hearing the word calls up such painful recollection. The word is avoided even in reference to God. Sad but understandable.
I have no earthly father, like many of you, to wish well this Father's Day. I will purchase no gift, send no special card. I wish I could! For years, even those not my biological father were recipients of both. They hallowed the term "father" for me. Yet I will remember them.
Indeed, I will give thanks for all fathers who express the gift of fatherhood in all its fullness. Some will not in actuality be biological fathers, but uncles, stepfathers or simply a caring male who assumed the role. Thereby providing that dimension to someone's life that might have otherwise been absent, thus the poorer.
I will also offer a prayer of hope, that those fathers who have neglected or even abused the gift of fatherhood may at this special time rediscover the God gift, resolve to exercise it with greater care and responsibility. It may require a reaching-out to a son or daughter, long forgotten or even ignored, requiring a new beginning. Open hand, open heart. May such an offering be received by a son or daughter, however painful the past. Grateful for the opportunity.
There may be those for whom no such reconciliation is possible; death and circumstance makes such coming together impossible. But I pray for an inner reconciliation. It is a self-realization. The asking of forgiveness on the one hand and the giving of it on the other. In one's spirit. A special Father's Day gift to one's self!
On this Father's Day, I will find my quiet place. Remember and give thanks. And conclude my prayers, as did my beloved professor, with the tender words, "Our Father."
Copyright 2005 United Methodist Reporter. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Retired United Methodist Bishop Woodie W. White currently serves as bishop-in-resident at Candler School of Theology in Atlanta, Ga.