As Mother's Day arrives, cherish our single moms
By Bishop Woodie W. White
I still don't know how they do it. I marvel at the ability of single mothers who provide superior parenting without the assistance of a caring and responsible spouse.
The statistics suggest the phenomenon of single-parent households is growing. In some communities and among particular demographic groups, they represent more than 50 percent of all households, and the majority of these are headed by females.
These mothers are divorced, widowed, never married or adoptive. Some are foster parents by court order. Others have assumed the role of motherhood for a relative or friend's child or children, simply out of a caring, compassionate spirit. Many receive no financial assistance from the government.
I helped rear five children in a two-parent home, and while it was personally rewarding, I am fully aware of the demands and complexities of parenting. In the process, my wife and I often reached points of frustration and feelings of inadequacy.
Our five children all presented unique challenges. The social milieu in which each one entered puberty and young adulthood had its own character and was sufficiently different that new skills and sensitivities were needed. Indeed, given the personalities of each child, it soon became clear that what worked with one did not work with the other!
Unique abilities
Moreover, as parents, we both had unique abilities to respond to situations when the other could not. It took two of us, and then some.
My wife and I both were reared in large families with a combined total of 17 siblings. Our home of five children was smaller than either of us knew when we were growing up, though the numbers never seemed overwhelming to us as kids. But being a child is different from being a parent.
When Mother's Day arrives May 14, we'll recognize mothers of every description, celebrating these special "saints" of the human family. Yet I am especially mindful of those who must carry the parenting role alone. In some instances there is no father to provide assistance, and in others, there are fathers who refuse to do so.
Juggling schedules
Single mothers are breadwinners and caregivers. Many work more than one job just to make ends meet. They juggle demanding schedules which include school activities and multiple after-school commitments. Some have supportive, healthy communities and schools that make the task a bit less demanding. Others, sadly, do not, which only makes single parenting even more of a challenge.
How do they do it? When one reaches the limits of patience and skill, or even energy, there is no one around to "take it from there." No companion to share the task. No one to discuss the day's disappointments or joys.
Single mothers make remarkable sacrifices, personal and financial, and they often do so without complaint. They're also frequently overlooked, undervalued and sometimes criticized and marginalized.
"Wait till your father gets home." A familiar phrase in so many homes is not just a word of warning, but also a word of relief and assurance. Tens of thousands of children will never hear those words or know their special meaning. But they usually know or will discover how special their mothers are, achieving against incredible odds.
As we celebrate the sacred responsibility of motherhood and all those who accept it with gifts and grace, I will remember and give thanks for them all. Yet I will remember with a sense of special gratitude and appreciation this amazing group of mothers.
I imagine God will look lovingly on all mothers, everywhere . . . and smile a second time for those special, single moms!