It's mirror-looking time
By Bishop Woodie W. White
There are times when I wished there was someone else to blame. Have you ever felt that way? Perhaps some circumstance or condition could be blamed: the Church, where one was born, the circumstances of birth, parents, perhaps the school, the nation, one's race or gender.
It would simply be easier to be able to shift responsibility for one's actions or misdeeds. Some have, of course. Fate, providence, bad luck have all taken the blame at one time or another, as have Satan, the demonic and even God.
Honestly, there are times I need someone else to be held responsible. There is something about the Light of accountability that is painful to absorb. It is better not to look at one's self. The blame surely is elsewhere.
Then comes Lent, those 40 days of mirror-looking self-examination. A time to ponder not the world's deficiencies, nor one's neighbor's, but one's own. During Lent the personal scrutiny of the spirit is — or should be — inescapable, unavoidable. It is a time of taking stock of one's life.
To examine one's life often reveals what we would rather not acknowledge. But we must. The Church must have known our inclination to want to avoid our misdeeds, so it provided a special corporate time for the entire faith community to observe a time of Holy Accountability. Despite the observance, there is still the overwhelming desire not to take responsibility for one's actions. Often blamed is having too much, or too little, being too soon or too late, having too much freedom or not enough.
To come before God in this holy season is to face oneself in a redemptive, painful encounter. One stands alone, and confronts weakness, selfishness and thoughtlessness. Sometimes one must face the promises broken by word, thought and deed, to self, church, spouse, colleagues and God.
The words of an old spiritual are too direct but profoundly true:
"It's me, it's me, it's me, O Lord, standing in the need of prayer.
"Not my brother, not my sister, it's me, O Lord, standing in the need of prayer."
Lent is Permission-Giving Time. Time to put aside excuses and rationalizations for the words, thoughts and deeds that have disappointed God and oneself. Lent is Mirror-Looking Time. A time of Holy Accountability.
Exhausted, the penitent spirit comes before God, no more running or hiding, no more shifting responsibility for one's misdeeds and waits. Then it happens. The weight of one's shame and guilt is graciously lifted as those refreshing words are spoken: "Your sins are forgiven. Go and sin no more."
Lent is God's gift to the bruised spirit.
Copyright 2005 United Methodist Reporter. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Retired United Methodist Bishop Woodie W. White currently serves as bishop-in-resident at Candler School of Theology in Atlanta, Ga.